Online friends vs Offline friends

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With the bigger kids at school and the little ones eating breakfast I can finally throw a load of washing in the washing machine and sit down to write this. Our mornings are so rushed and if I don’t do things in the morning then it wont get done at all during the day. That’s because I live online.

I know many others are like me especially many bloggers. As soon as your on that computer your only up to see why the kids have been fighting for the past 30 mins. They’ll be able to sort out their own fights surely. Then your up for toilet breaks and the occasional food break.

Two weeks ago Elise (Mummy hearts money) and I went to a Fisher price events. One of the perks of being a blogger. Get to go to events plus catch up in real life with some awesome bloggers and people we would never usually met like people who write for Cosmo Pregnancy. Plus people like Sally Obermeder who I knew had a familiar face. We were there to talk about being overjoyed, overwhelmed and oversharingting. Running through the city after catching the train I overexercised myself.

The panel of experts sat down and we all just had a great chat. It was awesome to see and hear the words that I have always thought were true. For example never take anything those parenting books tell you seriously. Take it with a grain of salt and if it works for you that’s great. If it doesn’t then it means nothing.

We talked about oversharingting. Which is what we apparently do now. We over share our parenting experiences. I do that a lot. I think it’s better to talk about it and share our experiences because maybe it will help that one person who is going through the same experience.

My cyber village is where I like to be. I like to be online. I like to share, ask and answer my online friend’s questions. I tried running my own playgroup so that my real life friends and I can catch up. That didn’t really plan out to well. I try to see my friends in real life so that I can go out but everyone is so busy with their own lives (including me) that it just never happens.

Someone spoke up and said how she values her time spent with her mother’s group. She can share and talk to real people in person. That’s excellent. I never got that. Only because in person someone will always try to speak over you to add their thoughts. Whereas online I can have my say and people will read it.

I love my online community of mothers. I have been with a group of girls for over 9 years now. We have our own little private community where we can share our ups, downs and in-betweens. We help each other out by donating money to each other and we do catch up in real life too. All of these people are my friends for life. We have watched our children grow up. We have watched the mothers we know turn into grandmothers. We have lost a friend who battled with cancer. That is my second family. If I have anything to ask about parenting I turn to them first.

Then there is my online community of bloggers who I can share things with too. I have found many parents battling with a 4 year old with toilet training. Some have already been through it and have re-assured me it will end.

Fisher price’s survey has revealed that gen Y mothers are more socially connected and love nothing more than sharing their experiences. That’s pretty spot on. From now on really everything is going to be shared online. Parenting expert Fiona Baker has said that mums these days are more connected with social media not only for support but it makes them feel not alone in the world. If your home with bubs at 3am and turn to social media there’s always someone online to talk to.

One thing I don’t agree on is she said that Gen Y mums are taking a more relaxed approach and not putting too much pressure on themselves to do everything. They cherish every moment with their child. I don’t agree that we are more relaxed. I think we still put as much pressure on ourselves and sometimes more than other generations. We want our children to still become doctors and be successful in the world. We might take different approaches then other generations would have but that’s evolution. Parenting is changing and when our kids are parents it’s going to be different for them too. But they will still feel the pressure and not be relaxed in their parenting.

I do tend to have a “whatever” view in my parenting. Like ehh my kid is licking the glass door. Ehh my kid is licking the floor. Ehh my kid is licking her hands and wiping her face with it saying “I’m clean”. I’m more relaxed in the way that I don’t think that my kids have to be doing swimming, dancing, netball and piano lessons in one week. That makes me relax to know that my kids do Maui Thai once a week. I don’t have to be stressed running around all week with activities for them. Plus it’s cheaper.

For me I love to catch up in real life with my friends when possible but like I said I live online so love my online communities.

Fisher price has a new app you can download and you can share your overjoyed, overwhelmed and overtired moments.

Online friends Vs offline friends? Which do you prefer?

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  1. Ai Sakura says:

    I don't think I have a preference as both provide comfort and support to me in different ways. However, I do wish I could meet up with my online friends more in real life over coffee as there's only that much you can express online without straining your eyes or hands! ;p
    My recent post Kids Beach Essentials: Disney Princess Havaianas

  2. I love my online friends, and I'm lucky that quite a few have turned into real life friends. Although on line and real life are so blurred now for this blogger, it's hard to define! I love the community around blogging, I'm just going to go with it. Much easier!
    My recent post 5 Songs from my soul

  3. Yes that is true I wish there was more time meeting the online friends in real life.
    My recent post Online friends vs Offline friends

  4. The blogging community is marvellous. I have been touched by how nice everyone really is. I love it.
    My recent post Online friends vs Offline friends

  5. katrinalovesjustin says:

    I am enjoying making some new online friends, but it is early days yet, so I would have to say that I still enjoy catching up with my real life friends the most. I certainly like the feeling of engaging online, and about a myriad of differnent issues and topics that wouldn't necessarily crop up with my own circle of friends.
    My recent post Hopeless networkers: REPRESENT!

  6. I think both online and IRL friends provide me with different things at different times. I love both and I wouldn't swop either !!
    Have the best day !
    My recent post Project Brighten Someone's Day (PBSD)

  7. Online is so much easier to interact with everyone. I seem to talk more online then when people meet me im all shy and quiet. But then I have to get used to them and by that time its time to go.
    My recent post Online friends vs Offline friends

  8. I spend too much time online!! Having small kids it can be hard to leave the house some days and the internet is great for having a catch up!!
    My recent post Lego- designed by a man possesed by the devil.

  9. Cooker and a Looker says:

    I tried mothers group, but it wasn't for me. I'm grateful for both my IRL and online friends. I feel pretty spoilt to have great mates in both realms!

  10. Yeah they all have had different experiences at different things and can give a different opinion then others.
    My recent post Online friends vs Offline friends

  11. I know exactly what you mean Ann. Ever since I found that forum I held onto it and never let it go.
    My recent post Online friends vs Offline friends

  12. It's great to find a great group of people that you really connect with isn't it. It makes so much difference.
    My recent post Online friends vs Offline friends

  13. mummymanifestodotcom says:

    I love the blogging community but often feel that some of the blogging opportunities to catch up are few in Perth. I have friends who I catch up with in real life who are supportive. I wouldn't agree with Gen Y being relaxed either. I think all generations put pressure on themselves to do the best for their kids

  14. There are a lot of Perth bloggers. There has to be something you can all do to bring some kind of event your way.
    My recent post Online friends vs Offline friends

  15. I have a balance of both. It's funny my real life friends are almost totally offline – only a couple actually have facebook! But I also love my little online space on my blog & Twitter. It is different, but both are important to me

  16. The school mothers don't go online either. They don't have facebook and wont know what twitter is nor a blog. I gave them my blog web address but not sure if they have checked it out.
    My recent post Online friends vs Offline friends

  17. aparentinglife says:

    I am glad that my online and real worlds don't collide all that often. I need to have the different spaces kept separate so that when I have had enough of the people in one I can go to the other.
    My recent post The post that was supposed to be "On Being A Crier" but turned out to be a ramble about Lovely's schooling

  18. I can not pick. Both are excellent for their own reasons. Rachel xx
    My recent post Colgate Slim Soft toothbrush review and giveaway

  19. robomum says:

    I have my RL friends, who as you know, don't know about my blog. They'd hit me if they ever find out! There's a different network of friends online. They're supportive, safe and unbelievably helpful. I've enjoyed meeting some of your guys 'in the flesh'. I have lots to gain from my online community and I look forward to seeing what unfolds. X
    My recent post Killing Time

  20. Certainly a bit of both. I have a long history of life online, going back more then 15 years, so I feel very at home here. #teamIBOT
    My recent post Touring Tasmania (Richmond)

  21. I am still a newbie when it comes to friends online especially mothers but if I were to pick I'd say its an extremely difficult choice – I have them both for different reasons. I guess sometimes there are things where you go to different people for – for example if I needed to vent about family or inlaws or common friends, it may be inappropriate to vent to real life friends who also know about the person in question and hence makes it awkward for them and also difficult for them to provide an objective view on things whereas in an online forum or with online friends, I would have gotten a more unbiased view. Then again some real life friends and only a few of them I have known since year 1 and we have watched each other grow up, get married and become mothers and its really nice to share and have those beautiful memories with them. Having said that. whilst I was organising my wedding I was chatting to quite a few like minded people on an online forum and they have offered me really wonderful advice to the extent that one girl even handmade some hair accesories for my wedding!!! Now with my first child I have gotten pretty close to a group of online mothers via a forum and especially since I did not attend any mothers group they have been my main source of support and help whenever I need any – even though sadly I havent met them in person yet.

    Thanks again for a great post Salz! I always look forward to reading your posts – mainly because they are so many ways I feel I can relate to them and you speak exactly what I have in mind! Keep up the good work on the blog!!!!

  22. Thats a really smart thing to do. I haven't yet crossed that line either. Only one parent from that parenting forum i mentioned has turned into a real life friend but i still go to her online for things.
    My recent post The Wednesday Review #8

  23. They both have their positives and negatives i guess.
    My recent post The Wednesday Review #8

  24. I enjoyed meeting you too. It is cool to see your online friends in real life.
    My recent post The Wednesday Review #8

  25. Same here. I started using the Internet a lot like everyday once I was married so its been 12 years.
    My recent post The Wednesday Review #8

  26. Aw thanks Winnie. It really picks me up and makes me want to write more. You are right with how you ask things of the people online different to the things you ask your real life family and friends. I go to my online friends like you to have a vent about my family and like you said they give a totally different view.
    My recent post The Wednesday Review #8

  27. Both are as good. I find my online friends are more engaging, easier to visit each other as we live virtual world meaning all of us live only clicks away lol. With offline friends we get to hang out together, have some coffee and talk about stuff. I think I am just trying to get the best of both world 🙂
    My recent post Love on The Other Side

  28. Have a laugh on me says:

    It's a bit of both Salz – both camps have their advantages and their disadvantages! I think online friends are less judgmental – but then again that is not always the case! I would love to hear you speak on day! Emily
    My recent post Now you see it – now you don’t – Wordless Wednesday!

  29. EssentiallyJess says:

    I think they both have a purpose, and I really like both. Online is good, for like you said, actually being heard, rather than spoken over. That's one of my pet hates in life, and something I try really hard not to do.
    My recent post Sleep is for the Clever

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